'Gear Up + Get Out' contest with The North Face ($1,000 gear prize!)

Yeah! You can just call me The Gecko! All I need now is a damsel in distress!

Oh Damn, I think I forgot to finish tying into the rope…

¡ɹǝʇɐʍ ˙˙˙ǝsɐǝld ˙˙˙¡ɹǝʇɐʍ

Dangit, Apple Maps! Why did I listen to you again!?

Hey, Robin! This is a lot harder than pretend-climbing a Gotham building sneaking up on the Joker and his henchmen.

¡ǝıqɯooooz-z-z-z ¡dןǝɥ

Dodgy belay.
I don’t care… I’d rather fall than call Cory for Help.

I wish that I had an awesome black pack to hold my extra jackets in!

Climbing Rocks!

Fingers, oh fingers, I love you so! Whatever you do, please don’t let go!

“That damn girl better still be naked when i get there”

Don’t look down!

Fat fingers and thin cracks don’t mix.

This isn’t the rock where i parked my car

“Now, Was I going up… or coming back down?”

“Is my crack showing?”

“I am so addicted… Crack all over my fingers”

This will be the greatest treasure hunt ever!!

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

I like turtles!

“Are you sure I left my keys up there?”

Now which crack am I suppose to open up and deliver the warm Coors light again?

“Joining the Spider-Man Training Club was a horrible decision.”

Don’t worry. This rope is thoroughly tested. It’s held hundreds of big falls. So you’re probably okay.

or another fave. Summit or plummet

Sure hope I packed the Northface gear!

Are you sure this is faster than taking the stairs?

The only reason I’m up this high is because The North Face made me do it.

“From that camera angle you won’t even be able to tell that I’m just sprawled out in the middle of the road!”

hmmm, I wonder whats for dinner. Dang it, focus man, focus.

Does this jacket make my arm look long?

I just wished North Face made Helmets.

“At this point i’d do anything to be stuck between a rock and a hard place!”

Answer the phone… let it go to voicemail… answer the phone… let it go to voicemail…

Milk was a bad idea!

The North Face gear makes this easy, but not if you stand on the rope down there.

Effin Tobey Macguire! You never did this you liar!

I hope I remembered to turn the oven off.

The influence of the human spirit is defined by the willingness to hang on, no matter how small or painful the grasp may be.

With three pitches left to go, Steve realized that his breakfast of granola, probiotic yogurt and black coffee had been a tactical error.

“Reach for greatness!”

“Where’s that next draw at??”

Huh? Oh! I must’ve been sleepclimbing again…

Did I close the garage door?

That high fiber diet my new hippie girlfriend has me on has to start working now? RIGHT NOW?!

(to the tune of american pie) i climb at impossible heights, but my fingers are so nimble i could give you high five..good ol’ boys, man i left ‘em behind..mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmm mmm mmmm mm mmmm mmm mmmmmm

Gotcha! Im a master at camera angles… Im actually just crawling on the ground!

I wonder if this photo really looks like we’re climbing instead of actually crawling on top of a rock!

Suddenly, Jack realized this wasn’t the easy climb section he was supposed to take the 3rd grade field trip kids on….

Collect Moments. Not things.

I’m just saying you’ve never seen me and Spider-Man in the same room together….

“Say YES to crack!”

Hey,I’m not in “The Lord of the Rings”!

Oh Crap – a flock of birds!

“Kiaaaaaaa” or “passsssssaaaaaaat”. He’s climbing something extremely difficult so naturally he will be saying long drawn out foreign sounding car names

“I just shit my pants.”

This is cracking me up…

No honey, I didn’t say I wished that YOU had big jugs…

What would Alex Honnold do?

Would it be possible to get a sandwich up here?

I wear The North Face because I actually do this, not so others at the bar on Friday night think I do.

Crud.. I think I left the coffee pot on…

My mom always told me to say no to crack.

Was that a left or right at the fork?

And my guidance counselor said I would never amount to anything…

or

Uh, oh… finger cramp, FINGER CRAAAAAMP!

or

Hold up Jim, that’s not my good side

or

What are you complaining about down there? YOU’RE the one who suggested we go get high!

“ That bowl of All Bran- Extra Fiber cereal was a bad idea…”

I know it was plan B for today but if you don’t have any good beta for my left hand we might be taking flying lessons today!

someone didn’t wipe this crack clean! i have TP on my finger!

My “Spidisense” is tingling.

Crack climbing is the greatest. Now all I need is Cedar Wright below me to poop on.

Link for context:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dJLN43G6KA

“That spare key is right here…”

You’re scaling behind me bro!

He really thinks that NOW is a good time to yell out he’s in love with me?

The map said the escalator would be right…around…here…..damn!

Did I leave the water running at home?

I’ve seen bigger cracks on plumbers than these

“Rock! Just kidding. “

Hey, you should totally lead this pitch he said; it’s super fun! Oooooh crap, where’s my last piece? Phewwww just breath.. Fluffy bunnies, gumdrops, ice cold beer in the car..

Wait…did I leave the oven on?

Great, now my left hand is crimping up…

Are you sure you know the muffin man? Cuz this is a long ways from Drury Lane!

stretch…stretch…hybrid verto for the win!

He can sport climb with trad gear. He is… the most interesting climber in the world.

I love sticking four fingers into a crack.

You put your right hand in, you put right hand…wait! What if the hokey pokey is what it is ALL about?

Does this rock make my butt look big?

I gotta Pee!

This is the thing I love.

Are we there yet?

I’m gonna catch that camerman, it is just a question of time :)

Hey, dude! Did you remember to carry some TP with you?

Go Go Gadget Arm.

Found: Transcendence.

Found: Humility.

Found: The only place safe from the Harlem Shake.

Today’s To-Do List: Forget the to-do list and Live Full.

Another day at the office sponsored by The North Face.

“When they say crack kills, was this what they meant?”

“I guess I can say I’m a dealer of crack.”

My nailguy will kill me..

“Time to get high off this crack…”

Oh, hangnail again.

Did I turn the stove off?

Bugger…I need to sneeze…no wiggle the nose, deep breath, smile, ahhh it’s passed…..no, no attchoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

The crack is so close I can smell it!

I’ve a little itch to the nose…

“I think I forgot to turn off the stove.”

What! I could’ve flown up here?

Hand hold, check, ropes, check, anti gravity boots? anti gravity boots? Mr. Spock!!!!!!!!!

Hey! Who glued this quarter down?

I’ve found the only kind of crack that I need to get high…

North Face, this crack, and my determination, are the only things I need to get high on life…

Okay, how can I do this?…Mom said I should never ‘crack’ my knuckles….

Go for a hike, he said… it’ll be fun, he said…

If only I’d been bitten by a radioactive spider

Hold my beer, watch this!

ops!! mhhh.. why I’m here? Where is my chiringuito cocktail?

This map said this spot was flat…

mmhhm.. have i locked the car?

North Face gear…built for the north face.

The North Face…just another day at the office.

The North Face…Get outside and LIVE!

When we show this picture to mom, we’ll just rotate it.

I don’t get stuck between rocks and hard places… I climb my way to my destination.

Red jacket? Check! Red harness? Check! Red chalk bag? Check! Red shoes? Forgot those at the bottom. This photo shoot is ruined!

“I knew I should have pooped before this!”

So a duck walks into a bar…

Make sure the logo on my back is in focus!

Wait… I’m supposed to leave the crack at the NEXT belay.

..BUt here’s my NUMber..
………..SOO call me MAYbe…

I hope my lat anchor is bomber!

When you told me you knew where the best crack was, I thought we were going to hit up Lake Street.

Those guys in the Mountain Project generic thread were right, the grades here are totally soft.

“It’s not that difficult” That’s what she said.

After this i need a seriously cold beer

Higher, baby
Get higher, baby!
Get higher, baby!
And don’t ever come down!
Rang dang diggedy dang di-dang
Rang dang diggedy dang di-dang
Rang dang diggedy dang di-dang
Diggedy dang di-dang diggedy dang di-dang

and then I found five dollars

I’m climbing to cloud nine!

This is vertical perfection

Hey, don’t photobomb me!

“1,573 cracks on the wall, 1,573 cracks. Take one down, pass it around…”

Must not look down!

This isn’t as think as you hard it is…

“This camera guy is making me nervous!”

Bacon…man, I want some bacon!

Errr.. Scott, are you really sure my safety rope is actually your WASHING LINE?!

You mean to tell me someone actually climbed this without ropes?

Vertigo much?

I’ll always climb to the top with North Face gear.

Take the damn picture already!

Cramp! OMG! Cramp!

Wait… Did I leave the stove on?

If she doesn’t go on a date with me later tonight, this is the last frisbee I help retrieve.

I really should have gone left back there.

Damm, I should’ve listen to my mother…

Best Facebook status update ever!

Why is there a rope?

First thing on my bucket list…and possibly the last!

Started from the bottom now we here…

I KNOW I left that key here somewhere.

“Right over here kids, you’ll see the igneous rock called diorite as marked by darkened intrusions on the wall face.” Exclaimed Mr. Salvatore, the best Earth science teacher ever, as he searched to set the next anchor.

ARGH!! Paparazzi again?!?!?

Don’t look down,don’t look down, don’t look down!

and the wheels on the bus go round and woa…round round and round

Vertical Perfection

Hey ma! look no hands!

Sigh…….Best.Day.Ever.

Dude, I really have to poop.

“…and then we’ll flip the picture when we post it so it will look like I am climbing instead of just laying in the driveway.”

“I see your point … ultralight gear makes all the difference.”

“It ain’t about how fast I get there, it ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side … it’s the cliiiiiiimb” (used by permission of Stage Three Music Publishing Limited, not really)

“If The North Face made climbing shoes as comfortable as this jacket, I could probably finish this route.”

“YOU LIKE THAT, ROCK!? YOU THINK YOU’RE TOUGH? I CAN CAN DO THIS ALL DAY! EVERYDAY!”

“Get ready to catch me, I think I just sharted”

“I said ‘slack,’ not ‘take’!!!”

HURRY UP! IT ITCHS REALLY BAD!

If death occurs, discontinue use… Why do I read warning labels this high?

Here kitty, kitty, kitty

“Dude, get the camera angle right.Get it so it looks like I am on a vertical wall, nit just crawling across this parking lot.”

“Dude,I really hope that rumor about a Cliffhanger sequel is true!”

Ouch, why did I laugh at that Warrior II pose?

HEY! On that route beta, you sure that dude’s name wasn’t Gumby?

“How ironic that I avoid stepping on cracks when walking on sidewalks, but seek out gorgeous, voluptuous ones on the rock… oh, well hello beautiful!”

“I hope people don’t find out I just go around re-creating Michelangelo paintings… hurry… take the photo before this becomes a caption contest!!”

When I get to the top, I’m totally doing this again

Siri, Get Help! Siri you there?

NOPE!

Uhh seriously? You call this a hold?

As I get higher and higher, I seem to be getting less and less crack, wait that can’t be right.

North Face…half the fun is getting there!

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

oh look, a rock!

WWSD (What would Sharma do?)

Hang 20!

Dang! My kid must’ve poured glue into the climbing powder again. :/

Yeah, I’ve got an extra ‘biner. Come and get it.

Well I knew I should have brought a few extra #2 nuts dammit!

I can’t remember if I was going up or coming down?

Um…………..

No one will know that this is a picture of me laying in the street tipped sideways

The things I do to keep my girlfriend happy..

“Dear God I love crack.”

I totally just figured out Inception: It’s a dream within dream.

Does this crack make my butt look big?

I knew I should’ve peed before starting this…..

And they said I wasn’t going to amount to anything!!

The things I’ll do for a Starbucks coffee! I hope the there’s no line!

“Who put the sneezing powder in my chalk bag?!”

So help me – if that dog runs away one more time….I am not rescuing him again! And how the hell does he get up here anyway?

Sage advice, Mr. Hand!

I think I left the iron on!

That’s the best lookin’ crack I’ve ever seen!

Here’s the story…of a lovely lady…who was bringing up three very lovely girls…all of them had hair of gold, like their mother…the youngest one in curls!!

“Why is he holding the camera upside down again? He’s gonna make this look WAY harder than it is.”

“Grab the large flake to the right and establish a belay” Serisoulsy?????

Just keep climbing…just keep climbing…

This is the FastPass line for The Matterhorn?!

Heather, will you marry me?!

Did I leave the oven on…?

“White castle was a BAD choice”

Did I leave the coffee pot on?

It’s not how many times you fall that matters, it’s how many time you get back up.

I do not think I realize the gravity of my situation…

The guide book said slab… not what I had in mind.

Oh ohw its breaking apart

This one is from reality:

“Do you have a good hold?”

The belayer had a knot on the rope and needed to disconecct the belay device to get it loose…

/Robin, materialisten.se

Stop following me!

It’s nothing, I swear. We were just talking!

Don’t you think this is a little high for Bouldering?

See, I told you these North Face pants would make a difference!

I said we should go left.. He said no dude go right..

Did I just feel a raindrop?

…did I lock the back door?

This isnt Gear Junkie Headquarters!! I must’ve taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque!!!

“How’s my butt look?”

[Turn picture 180°] “‘Down-climbing head first is FUN!”

farting is easy up here

North facing my fears

Ah, now this is what I call hanging around on Saturday morning!

I mean this miiiiiight be a solid—yep, solid hold. We’re good!

You don’t need to be spiderman to climb

No one at work is going to believe this…

I’ve found 57 cents so far!! This thing is better than the cushions in my grandma’s sofa!

(At cameraman) “Now this time take the lense cap off”!

Where is the men’s room ???

Just a little further.

Be gnarly, look gnarly.

Is this a good time to say I’m afraid of heights……

Great. This guy just had to be a tailgater.

When did the paparazzi take up rock climbing?

Who’s raw! I’m ready.

if there was ever a time for a bucket of KFC it’s gonna be tonight

Mama, I’m coming home…

I have the best commute to work, ever!

crunch time

I shouldn’t have had all that water before we started this! That guy below me is going to be ticked!

I got this high, I hope my fingers stay in this crack,
Oooooooo Noooooooooo!!!!

Couch Potatoes.

“You want me to put my hand where?”

Why cannot I feel any wind?

Caption: LIFE-You only get as high as you’re willing to climb!

On a Side note, HOLY HELL!!!

Does my protection make this crack look big?

I should have pee’d before I started!

I wish North Face made parachutes…

I knew I should have gone to Medical School!

(to friend below) “Wait up?!? …Crimea river.”

I swear I left my gum right here, last time!

It’s like talking to a wall…

“Ewwwwww, someone forgot to wipe their crack!!”

Not washing my hands after pancakes this morning is coming in handy right about now, no pun intended

Striving for greatness… one crack at a time!

There better be cold beer at the top…

“Dude, bro, I’m totally greasing off this slopey sidepull and looking at a gnarly 30 foot whipper off this sick, overhanging big wall! Watch me close…EPIC!”

Hey, I can see down her shirt!

I wonder if I let the dog out this morning?!

Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Find that hold.

Started from the bottom now we here!

“A Bolt! A Bolt! My trad rack for a bolt!

I can see my house from here.

Got to be quicker than that that’s what my wife said..my friend..

To bad these cracks are easy, I’m a crimp pimp!

Ain’t nobody got time for dis!

This is a pretty sweet route!

This is going to be an awesome top rope!

I am Having a gneiss day!

Does whatever a spider can (and looks good doing it).

When I get to the top Mr. Owl better have the answer to how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Gear Junkie Keeps Me On and In the North Face.

I’m running out of holds, switching over to pure skill from here on.

Dude stop looking at my butt! Seriously!

Dammit, we’ve to return! I don’t remember if I lock the car!

The human equivalent to the video game Frogger, minus the cars and logs.

Did you steal my beer out of my back koozie?

Just another day at the office “cracking” the route.

Note to self: More couch, less rock.

This patch of rock above me looks just like a thought bubble…I wonder what it’s thinking.