Probar Superfood Slam

I’ve long been a Probar fan. These gooey, uber-granola bars kick a lot of energy-food products out of the water. But I don’t want to re-hash the company right now. (Read here for the details on Probar’s unique go at the energy-bar game). Instead, I want to discuss something new from the company, the Probar Superfood Slam bar.

In marketing-speak, the $3 Superfood Slam is a “nutritional powerhouse” that’ll supply the body with “enormous health benefits.” That’s according to Probar.

I don’t really doubt those claims. The Superfood Slam is an organic whirlwind of uncooked and un-processed raw foods. The bar is 100 percent vegan, meaning there are no dairy products added. Its ingredient list is a veritable kaleidoscope of good-for-you bits like peanut butter, dates, sunflower seeds, rolled rye, flax seed, cashews, almonds, evaporated cane juice, organic brown rice flour, and on and on . . . and on.

Indeed, the ingredient list is all natural and good, but dear God it’s long and confusing. See below for the whole listing + nutritional info.

Further, what caught my eye—and maybe my mouth—were the really weird new ingredients, including raspberries infused with brown rice syrup; acai berries; and shelled hemp seeds. Something called “organic super-greens” are also in there, which includes barley grass, oat grass, wheat grass, and alfalfa liquefied and then re-solidified into an energy-bar constitute.

Whew.

So, what’s it taste like? In a word: Umm. . .

Really—amazingly—the Probar Superfood Slam is kind of bland. It’s way edible and all, and I’d munch them on the trail for sure. But you’d think with all those yummy things swirled in bar form you would have some tremendous bliss flavor.

In my mouth, the hard-to-describe bar tasted calmly sweet, verging on mild and bland, with earthy, grassy undertones. There are hints of orange peel or maybe cardamom and nuts. It’s not really like anything I’ve tried. Ever.

I’ll go on the record recommending this bar. It’s pretty good, really. All the nutritional voodoo is in there, too. If nothing really else, the Probar Superfood Slam is a unique and odd culinary—dare I say, gastronomical—experience that anyone who’s ever eaten (and choked on) a Power Bar must sometime undertake.