outhouse olympic national park
An outhouse in Olympic National Park; (photo/Gene Lee)

Sh*ttiest Day Ever: Woman Rescued From Outhouse After Falling in Head First

There’s a lesson here: If your phone falls in an outhouse, leave it.

On April 19, Washington state’s Brinnon Fire Department (BFD) and Quilcene Fire Rescue responded to a call of a person trapped in an Olympic National Forest outhouse.

According to a BFD statement, crews arrived and found the “patient,” a woman in her 40s, stuck in the vault of an outhouse near the top of Mt. Walker.

The woman, who (shockingly) did not ask to be identified, told rescue crews that while using the toilet, her cellphone fell into the vault. And at this point, a decision was made.

The woman said she first attempted to dismantle the toilet to retrieve the phone, which, it bears repeating, had fallen into the vault of a national forest outhouse.

Once she’d disassembled the seat housing, she “used her dog’s leash to try fishing it out,” according to the report. And when that proved unsuccessful, another decision was made.

“Eventually, she took the leashes to help support herself, which failed, and she slid into the vault head first,” the BFD report indicated.

The woman told rescuers she tried for about 15-20 minutes to get herself out. Alas, she was indeed stuck.

But as luck would have it, there was a cellphone in that toilet, which she was able to use to call for help.

Brinnon FD Rescue 41 and Quilcene F&R Aid 21 responded to the mountain top. Crews successfully rescued the woman, who refused transport and further medical attention — but did accept a washdown and Tyvek suit to wear.

Crews said she was very fortunate not to have been overcome by toxic gases or sustain serious injury, but “strongly encouraged [her] to seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste.”

The woman told crews she only wanted to leave and return on her journey back to California.

Adam Ruggiero

Adam Ruggiero is the Editor In Chief of GearJunkie.

Adam has been covering daily news and writing about cycling, camping, hiking, and gear of all kinds for 15+ years. Prior to that, Adam lived in Hawaii and Puerto Rico, at which time he realized he’d never have a “normal job.” His pastimes — farming, bike racing, and fitness — provided a gateway to all manner of physical challenges and recreation outdoors.

Based in Kansas City, MO, Adam tests as much gear as he can get his hands, feet (and dog) into each and every day. As editor in chief, he works to maintain GearJunkie’s voice, style, and commitment to accurate and expert reporting across every category.