Are you a camper or a glamper? We’ve got a list to make sure you know which “camp” you’re in.
Summer is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to gear up and get out, the great outdoors await! Mind what you pack; one man’s roughing it is another man’s pampering: Here are 10 ways to tell if you’ll be camping or glamping.
1) The Rig
Camping
Campers get around in a whip that’s as dirty as their boots and covered with battle scars from adventures past. Scratches? Nah, they’re badges of honor.
Glamping
A glamp-mobile on the other hand, is really more about getting a good view while putting a significant barrier between you and whatever lay beyond the windshield be it earth, wind…or water!
2) Morning Coffee
Camping
The first sip of joe for the camper is earned after making it via one of the many old fashioned ways.
Glamping
With a variety of handheld and travel espresso machines rugged campers can take with them, glampers require a more sophisticated approach.
3) Watercraft
Camping
Next to a tent, a camper’s best friend is a trusty old canoe — tried and tested through the ages.
Glamping
Do you now measure your boat in tonnes? Then you just might be a glamper. If you found a mint on the boat of your yacht, you’ve definitely turned that corner. Lucky you.
4) Cooking Fire
Camping
Campers rely on the same kindling, wood, and hot coals to make their meals that prehistoric man did.
Glamping
A real glamping meal takes more than just fire, it takes money, time, money, care, and money. But shoot, that Kobe beef isn’t going to massage itself!
5) Night Light
Camping
The true hallmark of any camper’s evening is enjoying the twilight with the only illumination nature provides. Usually that comes with howling wolves, bats, and creatures lurking in the dark that add to the experience. How else will you get that hair to stand on end?
Glamping
Tiki torches, bluetooth “proximity lanterns,” and iTunes-synced LED party lanterns, nighttime at the glampsite is a little different:
6) Music
Camping
Essentially built for quiet nights by the fire, the guitar is the only sound a camper needs to break the stillness of a chilly night.
Glamping
Most glampers rely on more than just a long-bearded hippie with a guitar; fortunately, there are bomb-proof Bluetooth speakers, solar-powered boom boxes, and outdoor surround-sound speakers to chase away the nasty sounds of nature.
7) Bathing
Camping
If campers don’t receive enough rain for a satisfactory shower, there’s always the lakes, rivers, and swamps!
Glamping
Glampers also appreciate a dip in the wild waterways of the outdoors — of course, they make sure to properly bathe after any unsanitary exposure to wet.
8) Bedding
Camping
What the earth alone does not provide, a camper will make right with a simple sleeping pad or bedroll.
Glamping
Like their rugged brethren, glampers, too, enjoy the cool, firm embrace of the bare ground… between a down mattress, box spring, oak frame, and four legs.
9) Bathroom
Camping
True campers know the proper ways to answer nature’s call — bury it, keep it away from water, even pack it out if needs be — beyond that, no special accommodations are necessary.
Glamping
There’s no two ways about it — glampers do not dangle their unholies in the wild. It’s uncivilized.
10) Shelter
Camping
From a bivvy sack to a covered hammock to a couple of poles and a tarp — campers get by with the minimum separating them from the elements.
Glamping
For the crème de la crème of outdoorsmen and women, nature is but the cherry on top of a double-fudge brownie, hyper-luxury camping sundae — best enjoyed from the safety and opulence of a fully furnished creature comfort castle.
