Let’s admit what we’re all thinking: Aliens are real. How else would you explain all the single shoes abandoned in a parking lot, or the orphaned sock stuck in a sewer drain — or that lone, sad glove left near the trailhead? Obviously, flying saucers are beaming people right out of their apparel.
But even if that’s true, it probably only accounts for 90% of lost items. A good chunk of those forgotten, lonely gloves actually still belong to a mate (and a pair of hands). For those unabducted folks, Vermont Glove launched the single-glove purchase option — a program, quite frankly, I can’t believe has not materialized before now.
The brand said the move marks an effort to cut down on overconsumption — after all, the only thing worse than one glove is three. Best of all, you don’t actually have to lose one of your mitts to take part. If one of them is, say, chewed off by a little gray alien after you went to see what that noise was behind my uncle’s barn (it did happen!), you can still take advantage of Vermont’s Single Glove program.
Plus, the program covers all Vermont Glove offerings: The Vermonter, Tuttle, Uphill Skier, Chopper’s Mitt, Jefflo Mitt, and Jeezum. Every model costs the same — $55.
Better Yet, Repair Your Vermont Glove
And hey, if your extraterrestrial altercation doesn’t totally shred your glove, you can also opt to send it in for repairs. Part of the same waste-reduction initiative, Vermont Glove’s new Repair program will fix worn spots, rips, tears, busted seams, slices, and more — almost anything, within reason.
“If you ran a pair through the chipper or left them in the burn pile, those are not coming back, sorry to break it tooya,” the brand says on its repair page. “We can work magic but we draw the line at bringing back the dead.”
Repairs cost $30 plus outbound shipping and take about 4 weeks. Both Single Glove and Repair programs are live now on Vermont Glove’s website, which is not affiliated with the CIA, black helicopters, or any agency shielding us from the truth.
