Pocket Monster: Mercedes-Benz 4×4²

Earlier this week, when we took a peek at the Mercedes Zetros, we know what you were thinking: “Nice ride, but do they offer something … maybe less conspicuous?”

Fortunately, the engineers at Mercedes-Benz were listening and proudly leaked the latest iteration of the G-wagon, the Mercedes-Benz G500 4×4².

Originally contracted as a military vehicle by the Shah of Iran, the Geländewagen — or G-wagon — is German for “housewives of New Jersey’s ride of choice.” The 4×4 squared is equally capable in the sands of Persia as it is in the sand traps of South Hampton.

With its boxy-but-good looks, the venerable G-wagon has always expressed utilitarian aloofness. This round, the G500 appears to be a mash-up of the steep raking lines of a Suzuki Samurai and the color palette of vintage Matchbox.

Under the hood, the 5-Liter V8 belches out 382hp, applying enough torque to wrap a city block around its axel. If the Zetros is the Imperial Star Destroyer, the G500 is Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon.

Who cares if it costs a couple years’ salary. The G500 is the only ride that you can chew rock gardens for breakfast and valet at the club in time to sip 50-year-old Chivas Regal.

The G500 will debut at the Geneva Motor Show in March and has already created quite a buzz. But with a price predicted well north of six figures, we don’t expect to see many of these prowling the backroads soon.