Carbon Fiber Fanny Pack: This Changes Everything

Long gone are the days of fanny pack ridicule. Bullet-proof and American-made, meet the “Coolest Fanny.”

The coolest fanny pack

Negligible construction and poor stylings doomed the prevalence of the fanny pack from the onset. While historically a product of pure function, not fashion, the Coolest Fanny changes this. Combining the best of both worlds, this new fanny from Carbon Fibres lets you bring the party and attract envy from all the non-fanny laden plebians to cross your path.

With not one, not two, but FOUR spots for insulated tall-boy storage, the Coolest Fanny boasts some impressive features. An ergonomic hip belt, Bluetooth speaker, dedicated sunglasses and phone pocket, and aerospace-grade carbon fiber construction round out the design.

Now you may be thinking, “Nice try GearJunkie, but this is April Fool’s, and I’m no fool.”

You’re partially right, this is a joke, for now. But if Carbon Fibres receives 500 sign-up requests this fanny will become a production reality.

top shot the coolest fanny pack

Coolest Fanny – Because Why Not?

The brand recognizes the absurdity behind this product. One of the technical specs is literally, “Ridiculous: Yes.”

All quips aside, this might be the product to put fanny packs back on the map. Four 3.5 watt speakers with a five-hour runtime, lightweight carbon fiber construction, and waterproofing are all some impressive fanny pack components. The only bummer is its $249 sticker shock.


So what do you think, is the Coolest Fanny something you could get behind?

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Midwest born, Nate Mitka started with Gearjunkie after a short stint as “intern”. An advocate of all outdoor activities he’s developed some habits, like running without headphones, eating raw vegetables, and fixing the chain on his ratty old bike.

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