This ‘whitewater competition’ might be the zaniest vehicle race we’ve ever seen — Flugtag included.
On Aug. 27, a handful of colorfully dressed paddling teams gathered at Oklahoma City’s Riversport OKC whitewater park with one directive to follow: launch the silliest “rafts” they could dream up into the chute.
Mayhem ensued.
On the ramp at the head of the course, five paddlers wearing raccoon onesies opened their dumpster-shaped boat (apparently made out of tarps) and emptied it of bags of garbage. Two of the mammalian-costumed individuals jumped in, and the rest got ready to push.
A small but excitable crowd did something you could almost call roaring. The “Trash Pandas” were in the water for about 3 seconds before their dinghy(?) capsized.
The crowd roared. Welcome to Red Bull Rapids.
“My mom had a pet raccoon when I was a kid, and it just inspired me — I wanted one at some point in my life,” one of the Pandas explained in a pre-launch interview.
Other river runners included The Farm Boys, whose roster included one man who cut his overalls into jorts (but only in the front), and another dressed as “just corn.”
Their contrivance relied on a steamboat-style paddle wheel mounted to the bow. But the frames of the wheel’s paddles didn’t have any material inside, so it didn’t move much water before the whole thing heaved over on its nose less than a second into its run.
What is Red Bull Rapids? You can read up on the details if you want, but the concept speaks for itself — sometimes, it’s best to just sit back and stop taking life so seriously.
2022 Red Bull Rapids Results
In case you do harbor genuine curiosity over a competition based on people wearing silly costumes paddling boats designed to not work, here’s the nitty-gritty.
First, Red Bull approves 50 boat designs by teams from around the country. The teams then build the boats and bring them to the location. There, they take the ramp, do their interview, then perform a 30-second skit and launch.
Judges evaluate teams based on their theatrical performance and “race time,” which must mean how long it takes before they flip over.
The Rock’em Rafting Robots was the 2022 Red Bull Rapids winning team.
